We might ask ourselves, “Why am I so sad? What’s wrong with me?” We get so caught up in the why, in the figuring out what is wrong, because we are attempting to avoid our pain. We don’t realize that it’s unavoidable, and the attempt to stuff our pain away actually creates more suffering.
As long as I could remember, I always had to be the bigger person when it came to fights with family and friends. I was conditioned to push my emotions down. If I expressed my sadness, I was told that I was “too sensitive”.
Over the years, I learned to not be sad. That I didn’t deserve to be sad. It was better to make sure the other person who hurt me got to be sad and everyone felt sorry for them. Even well into adulthood, my parents told me, “You can be the better person.”
It wasn’t until my life changed in 2017, did I realize that I had the right to be sad. The man I thought was my soulmate betrayed me. My life fell apart, and I cried for two years straight. In my desperate attempt to make sense of life, I realized that I had not allowed myself to do so for most of my life.
I was going through a dark night of the soul, and some divine force was guiding me through the change my life needed to go through. The shell around my heart began to crack, and over the next few years my heart started to open. I finally learned to allow myself to embrace my pain.
From that moment on, I learned how we create more suffering for ourselves by resisting our pain. Wisdom emerges through feeling our pain-even if you don’t know the story of why.
“I just want to feel better.”
As I learned to surrender to the pure emotion instead of getting stuck in judgment, I began to embrace my pain. As each of these painful experiences left my body I was blessed with their truths.
Our minds have been conditioned to believe that feeling emotions like sadness, anger, despair, loneliness could be categorized as negative. There are no negative emotions, there is only energy moving through the body expressed as emotion. These emotions are communicating to us information that teaches us about ourselves and our soul’s journey.
When you are courageous enough to go into the depth of your grief and feel it fully without fear, you begin to set yourself free.
Sometimes we are in resistance to our pain, not just because we don’t want to feel it, but because it doesn’t seem true to our conditioned minds. It’s time for each of us to take responsibility for the pain we carry within us.
All of our bodies carry some form of trauma: a combination of personal life experiences and soul wounds. If you’re sad, and you don’t know why, allow yourself to let go of the need to figure it out and simply honor your feelings. Often times, the why isn’t as important as the truth of the experience. I was a victim of betrayal, yet I knew there was a lifetime of hurt coming out as a result of the rush of so much emotion. Being sad is the deep, simple truth of our experience. Honoring that truth without the story is the key to setting ourselves free.
If you want to heal and to set yourself free, trust that it’s safe for you to feel the depth of your sadness. As you do, you will begin to understand the reasons you feel and as a result, bring more joy into your life.
Some amazing books to get you through your sadness:
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